Erster Hauptsatz:

Energie kann weder erzeugt noch vernichtet, sondern nur in verschiedene Arten umgewandelt werden.

Zweiter Hauptsatz:

Energie ist nicht in beliebigem Maße in andere Arten umwandelbar.

Dritter Hauptsatz:

Der absolute Nullpunkt der Temperatur ist unerreichbar.

"A transformation whose only final result is to convert heat, extracted from a source at constant temperature, into work, is impossible. (...) I believe the tendency in the material world is for motion to become diffused, and that as a whole the reverse of concentration is gradually going on. I believe that no physical action can ever restore the heat emitted from the sun, and that this source is not inexhaustible; also that the motions of the earth and other planets are losing vis viva which is converted into heat; and that although some vis viva may be restored for instance to the earthby heat received from the sun, or by other means, that the loss cannot be precisely compensated and I think it probable that it is under compensated."

Lord Kelvin a.k.a. William Thomson, 1st Baron Kelvin

"The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermodynamics - perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought."

Greg Hill and Kerry Thornley Principia Discordia (1965)